& so I went to my favourite library. & so I've found my favourite CDs. & so I start to worry about tomorrow. & so I don't feel like moving. & so I think the future is so unpredictable. & so I have no confidence in myself. & so I don't know how to make myself feel good. & so I don't know if you could understand me. & so I don't know if I could trust myself. & so I don't know if you would care about me. & so, someone, please be good to me.

Yeat your heart out
12:19 AM

Everything was great, and all because of my baby. The best christmas I ever had, I swear. Went to town for christmas eve dinner with Baby. We've ate so much till I felt like bursting. Baby was sooper handsome and he said, that was all because of me. How sweet! ohhh my, awesome Baby! (: And Baby said, I was way sexy. Gagagagas. Baby's christmas card made me cry, tears of joy. I won't share with you people here. Cause it's only for me. Every word and every drawing, it's only for me. After dinner we wanted to catch a movie but there was no show available at that time. So we headed to somewhere else. But anyways, it was only me and Baby! (:

Baby was like a small kid when he was playing rubik's cube, sooper duper cute, but sooper stubborn also. Hahas. But finally, Baby knows how to solve the first layer. (: It was great that I could hug Baby to sleep, his arm and waist and I even could hold his hand while sleeping. I could hear Baby's breathing, so close to my ear. While there was this time, I was sleeping till I don't know why my head wasn't on the pillow. And I don't know why baby could notice it and put the pillow under my head. Sweet enough and I'd go 'oh my husband...' Haha.

Baby, thank you for the presents and I do love EVERYTHING that you give me too! You made this Christmas the most most special one for me. And like what you said, we're gonna spend every christmas together till we both old and ugly, till we die. Baby, I love you so much! Forever and ever baby! Y

To all my friends, sorry if I didn't message you cause I had to do something important so might neglect some but yah, Merry Christmas to all! (:

And just to say I'm sorry for the previous entries, especially if they made you think that there was something going on between me and baby. Because, there wasn't anything happened between Baby and me. And we've been really sweet together for these few months. We could say a lot times of I love you and I miss you everyday, just simply because we really miss each other like hell loads everyday. And we're really going strong. Like we can get married at anytime. So no worries everyone, and I really do thank those who cared for us. (: As for those entries, because something's really bad happened in my family, and I was affected by it. And that's why I'm moving to melville park.

Okay. Baby hasn't come online since I woke up this afternoon. And I have no idea what he's doing now. I miss Baby so terribly ):

Bye. ):

Yeat your heart out
4:38 PM

Today wasn't a good day. But I don't want to talk about it. Sorry for all the emo entries. I will let myself to be happier.

Just 4 more days to Christmas. I don't know where will I be on that day. I don't know what I will be doing. I don't know what I will be wearing. Seems like everything's unsure. I'm hoping, I'm praying that Santa could put up a truly smile on my face, on that special day. This is the only wish that I want to get from him this year. I don't know why every year I care about Christmas so much. I don't know why it just means a lot to me. I don't why now I'm getting nervous just because Christmas is getting nearer and nearer each day. Maybe just a kind of fear, I don't want this Christmas to be another heartbreaking one. But I know this year is going to be a different one. I believe it will be a happy one.

Two days ago this friend told me Santa lives in Sydney, I don't know. But I hope what he said is true. And Vanessa is in Sydney now. So if that's true I hope Vanessa could meet Santa. (: Okay. I always live in my own imagination world, I know people might come and tell me that Santa does not even exist. But anyways, I just believe in all the beautiful things even they are not real.

I think there won't be any updates till end of Christmas period. I will appreciate if I could receive wishing messages from you people on Christmas. Ta.

Yeat your heart out
7:27 PM

One plus one makes two. But sometimes things just don't go according to what we wished. Maybe it's going too fast. The one we're holding just ain't right, and we've realised it's not meant to last. Let it go when it has to come to an end. Breaking down isn't the way cause get up with life is what we should do. I've told my friends things like this 'If it doesn't feel right, holding someone else's hand'. Now I don't know if it's right to say so, but when time comes, what to do is just stay strong and move on. As in my view I don't see any points to remain as friends cause I think going seperate ways is the best way to heal the wound. Even live years of time together someday just might also going seperate ways. Life's that unpretictable. And now to me 'marriage' this word is too much a burden without faith. I believe there's always an end to every storm. Slowly be stronger and happily live the life.

Goodbye you.

-
You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged all the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

Yeat your heart out
1:38 AM

Well, Ming Sheng looks just like 17 years old okay. Xiao Chao. Hahahas. And he looks very charming today. Don't you think so? Hahas!

What a Christmas tree. Hahas. Today was alright, just that I was feeling sleepy all the time. Studied with Sanjeev and Xian Li. Like Woah, finally we've understood what's the log is all about. Lols. Today was raining, raining and non-stop raining. Emo weather. But today was good, cause after my paper, there're some random people came to me and say things like this 'For this Christmas I have this wish is want you to be happy, so make sure you be happy alright.' Melinda girl was the first person who told me this today. (: Alot people hugged me today, I felt so warm. :D Thanks, truly! (: I felt so real with those sweet tight hugs. They're way much better than those empty promises. Anyways, as what I've said, I will try my best to give a truly smile from the bottom of my heart. (:

And for this someone, I don't know if you would ever read this. I'm sorry for causing whatever you're feeling right now, I know you sensed something. That's not misunderstanding, but I don't know how to explain. Just that. I'm sorry. I'm gonna disappear from you. And yah, sorry for any bad feelings caused by me. But everything's just gonna be back to before now. Need no more avoidings. No worries, you won't be seeing me anymore. Take care. (:

This Christmas, I've decided to give myself something's special. It's so gonna be very wonderful. Exams period now, so this is gonna be the last entry till I'm back, maybe after new year? Hahas. Anyways, continue love me you sexy people! (: Oh yah, Merry Christmas. Haas! :D

XOXO

Yeat your heart out
1:07 AM

It's pretty early in the morning now. Starting of a brand new day. I suppose today will be a happy one for me, cause I've received this sweet email, and this sweet message this morning. (:

Melinda, Sanjeev, Nana, Vanessa and Darren are the people running through my mind now. For no reasons, just randomly I would think of them. I want to make a phone call to each of them right now. But too bad, it's just too early now. I wanna tell my lovergirl Melinda, Nana and Vanessa how much I love them, esp Vanessa, I miss you! I wanna wake Sanjeev up now, force him to tell me his banana funny jokes. And I will tell him, he's my very first true Indian friend. Hahahas. I still remember he said this to me 'You know your friend can beat up anyone just for you.' I believe him cause his friends are like king kong. hahahas. Oh yah. and I will teach him how to spell my name correctly cause he always spells it with an extra 'e'. Lols. And I wanna know where is Darren, cause he's totally MIA to me. I needa talk to him.

Just ignore the previous entries. Tears are just temporary. Cause I've lost my way, though something's hard. But I'm home now. I've found my way back the place where I should be. No doubt. There's always something that I can give myself, the self-assurance. Though I might be just on my own. I won't let anyone to control my mood anymore, cause I'm so gonna be the one to make myself feel pretty good. (: Maybe I'm dumb but I'm so gonna be a happy dumbass. Cause you know, I'm just the kind of girl that your mama wants your girlfriend to be. * peace (:

Wish me luck for my exams please. (:

&From Nana's blog, "we keep believing because we always hope that something good will come out in the end". I was thinking this way too, but when time to wake up you would realise that there's not always a happy ending. Anyways, you people should drop by Nana's blog and use your heart to listen to that song. (:

Loves.

Yeat your heart out
5:06 AM

Yeat your heart out
11:27 PM

&She said " I don't know if you would save me cause seems that you're just a passerby. Would you pick me up and bring me to your secret place? Maybe you can bring me to somewhere... far away. I don't want you just be another passerby cause I hope you would be the knight to save me here I am. I'm wondering would you show me the real you behind your armor someday?..."

-
I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world

Yeat your heart out
1:35 AM

Once upon a time, there was this girl who was seeking a peaceful place away from the all the complicated troubles and endless fightings. One day, she has found this beautiful castle, and she was told this is the safest place and she could just be a princess to stay in this castle till the end of time if she wishes to. She was really happy so she moved into the castle and started her life of a princess. But happiness was short enough for this poor little girl. When she woke up in this rainy morning, she has found that everything has changed. The castle has became a dark and cold place. She tried to get out of the castle but the door has just locked. She had no way to get out of it. Years after years, she lives without lights. She has been locked in the castle for long. Finally, after one storm night the door has suddenly opened, she could see the sunlight. She sees the hope. She thinks maybe she should be brave, to step out the door before it closing. Cause she could see this beautiful world outside has just opened the arms to welcome her. But she's hesitated, she feels confusing. She doesn't know if that's real. She doesn't know if that's just illusion. No way to prove. Cause once she leaves there's no way to back to the castle. And then she would have no where to go...

-
Tell me, if you could be my escape

Yeat your heart out
4:50 PM

Yeat your heart out
9:51 PM

Yeat your heart out
8:56 PM

"He has a face of a sailor and a heart like an anchor. He spills shockwaves all over my skin and made me into a malfunction machine. A perpetual rebellion with absolutely no cause. I wish I wasn't this monster I've become. Keep tasting the saline rolling down my cheekbones, I'm feeling like a toy feels when its batteries run dry. So sick of you cutting me off like a guillotine. This pain you give doesn't feel so much like love.

Don't get any closer here now sweetheart or you'll just make my heart quiver again. But if you want, you can eat my bones and fix me with your pretty tools. Won't you?..."

-
It'll be lonely this Christmas without you to hold
I. I Love. I Love You.

Yeat your heart out
12:55 AM

-
):
merry merry christmas, lonely lonely christmas

Yeat your heart out
1:30 AM

& so I went to my favourite library. & so I've found my favourite CDs. & so I start to worry about tomorrow. & so I don't feel like moving. & so I think the future is so unpredictable. & so I have no confidence in myself. & so I don't know how to make myself feel good. & so I don't know if you could understand me. & so I don't know if I could trust myself. & so I don't know if you would care about me. & so, someone, please be good to me.

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
12:19 AM

Everything was great, and all because of my baby. The best christmas I ever had, I swear. Went to town for christmas eve dinner with Baby. We've ate so much till I felt like bursting. Baby was sooper handsome and he said, that was all because of me. How sweet! ohhh my, awesome Baby! (: And Baby said, I was way sexy. Gagagagas. Baby's christmas card made me cry, tears of joy. I won't share with you people here. Cause it's only for me. Every word and every drawing, it's only for me. After dinner we wanted to catch a movie but there was no show available at that time. So we headed to somewhere else. But anyways, it was only me and Baby! (:

Baby was like a small kid when he was playing rubik's cube, sooper duper cute, but sooper stubborn also. Hahas. But finally, Baby knows how to solve the first layer. (: It was great that I could hug Baby to sleep, his arm and waist and I even could hold his hand while sleeping. I could hear Baby's breathing, so close to my ear. While there was this time, I was sleeping till I don't know why my head wasn't on the pillow. And I don't know why baby could notice it and put the pillow under my head. Sweet enough and I'd go 'oh my husband...' Haha.

Baby, thank you for the presents and I do love EVERYTHING that you give me too! You made this Christmas the most most special one for me. And like what you said, we're gonna spend every christmas together till we both old and ugly, till we die. Baby, I love you so much! Forever and ever baby! Y

To all my friends, sorry if I didn't message you cause I had to do something important so might neglect some but yah, Merry Christmas to all! (:

And just to say I'm sorry for the previous entries, especially if they made you think that there was something going on between me and baby. Because, there wasn't anything happened between Baby and me. And we've been really sweet together for these few months. We could say a lot times of I love you and I miss you everyday, just simply because we really miss each other like hell loads everyday. And we're really going strong. Like we can get married at anytime. So no worries everyone, and I really do thank those who cared for us. (: As for those entries, because something's really bad happened in my family, and I was affected by it. And that's why I'm moving to melville park.

Okay. Baby hasn't come online since I woke up this afternoon. And I have no idea what he's doing now. I miss Baby so terribly ):

Bye. ):

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
4:38 PM

Today wasn't a good day. But I don't want to talk about it. Sorry for all the emo entries. I will let myself to be happier.

Just 4 more days to Christmas. I don't know where will I be on that day. I don't know what I will be doing. I don't know what I will be wearing. Seems like everything's unsure. I'm hoping, I'm praying that Santa could put up a truly smile on my face, on that special day. This is the only wish that I want to get from him this year. I don't know why every year I care about Christmas so much. I don't know why it just means a lot to me. I don't why now I'm getting nervous just because Christmas is getting nearer and nearer each day. Maybe just a kind of fear, I don't want this Christmas to be another heartbreaking one. But I know this year is going to be a different one. I believe it will be a happy one.

Two days ago this friend told me Santa lives in Sydney, I don't know. But I hope what he said is true. And Vanessa is in Sydney now. So if that's true I hope Vanessa could meet Santa. (: Okay. I always live in my own imagination world, I know people might come and tell me that Santa does not even exist. But anyways, I just believe in all the beautiful things even they are not real.

I think there won't be any updates till end of Christmas period. I will appreciate if I could receive wishing messages from you people on Christmas. Ta.

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
7:27 PM

One plus one makes two. But sometimes things just don't go according to what we wished. Maybe it's going too fast. The one we're holding just ain't right, and we've realised it's not meant to last. Let it go when it has to come to an end. Breaking down isn't the way cause get up with life is what we should do. I've told my friends things like this 'If it doesn't feel right, holding someone else's hand'. Now I don't know if it's right to say so, but when time comes, what to do is just stay strong and move on. As in my view I don't see any points to remain as friends cause I think going seperate ways is the best way to heal the wound. Even live years of time together someday just might also going seperate ways. Life's that unpretictable. And now to me 'marriage' this word is too much a burden without faith. I believe there's always an end to every storm. Slowly be stronger and happily live the life.

Goodbye you.

-
You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged all the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

Cause the day I thought I'd never get through
I got over you

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
1:38 AM

Well, Ming Sheng looks just like 17 years old okay. Xiao Chao. Hahahas. And he looks very charming today. Don't you think so? Hahas!

What a Christmas tree. Hahas. Today was alright, just that I was feeling sleepy all the time. Studied with Sanjeev and Xian Li. Like Woah, finally we've understood what's the log is all about. Lols. Today was raining, raining and non-stop raining. Emo weather. But today was good, cause after my paper, there're some random people came to me and say things like this 'For this Christmas I have this wish is want you to be happy, so make sure you be happy alright.' Melinda girl was the first person who told me this today. (: Alot people hugged me today, I felt so warm. :D Thanks, truly! (: I felt so real with those sweet tight hugs. They're way much better than those empty promises. Anyways, as what I've said, I will try my best to give a truly smile from the bottom of my heart. (:

And for this someone, I don't know if you would ever read this. I'm sorry for causing whatever you're feeling right now, I know you sensed something. That's not misunderstanding, but I don't know how to explain. Just that. I'm sorry. I'm gonna disappear from you. And yah, sorry for any bad feelings caused by me. But everything's just gonna be back to before now. Need no more avoidings. No worries, you won't be seeing me anymore. Take care. (:

This Christmas, I've decided to give myself something's special. It's so gonna be very wonderful. Exams period now, so this is gonna be the last entry till I'm back, maybe after new year? Hahas. Anyways, continue love me you sexy people! (: Oh yah, Merry Christmas. Haas! :D

XOXO

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
1:07 AM

It's pretty early in the morning now. Starting of a brand new day. I suppose today will be a happy one for me, cause I've received this sweet email, and this sweet message this morning. (:

Melinda, Sanjeev, Nana, Vanessa and Darren are the people running through my mind now. For no reasons, just randomly I would think of them. I want to make a phone call to each of them right now. But too bad, it's just too early now. I wanna tell my lovergirl Melinda, Nana and Vanessa how much I love them, esp Vanessa, I miss you! I wanna wake Sanjeev up now, force him to tell me his banana funny jokes. And I will tell him, he's my very first true Indian friend. Hahahas. I still remember he said this to me 'You know your friend can beat up anyone just for you.' I believe him cause his friends are like king kong. hahahas. Oh yah. and I will teach him how to spell my name correctly cause he always spells it with an extra 'e'. Lols. And I wanna know where is Darren, cause he's totally MIA to me. I needa talk to him.

Just ignore the previous entries. Tears are just temporary. Cause I've lost my way, though something's hard. But I'm home now. I've found my way back the place where I should be. No doubt. There's always something that I can give myself, the self-assurance. Though I might be just on my own. I won't let anyone to control my mood anymore, cause I'm so gonna be the one to make myself feel pretty good. (: Maybe I'm dumb but I'm so gonna be a happy dumbass. Cause you know, I'm just the kind of girl that your mama wants your girlfriend to be. * peace (:

Wish me luck for my exams please. (:

&From Nana's blog, "we keep believing because we always hope that something good will come out in the end". I was thinking this way too, but when time to wake up you would realise that there's not always a happy ending. Anyways, you people should drop by Nana's blog and use your heart to listen to that song. (:

Loves.

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
5:06 AM

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
11:27 PM

&She said " I don't know if you would save me cause seems that you're just a passerby. Would you pick me up and bring me to your secret place? Maybe you can bring me to somewhere... far away. I don't want you just be another passerby cause I hope you would be the knight to save me here I am. I'm wondering would you show me the real you behind your armor someday?..."

-
I'm alone, on my own, and that's all I know
I'll be strong, I'll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I'm just a girl, trying to find a place in this world

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
1:35 AM

Once upon a time, there was this girl who was seeking a peaceful place away from the all the complicated troubles and endless fightings. One day, she has found this beautiful castle, and she was told this is the safest place and she could just be a princess to stay in this castle till the end of time if she wishes to. She was really happy so she moved into the castle and started her life of a princess. But happiness was short enough for this poor little girl. When she woke up in this rainy morning, she has found that everything has changed. The castle has became a dark and cold place. She tried to get out of the castle but the door has just locked. She had no way to get out of it. Years after years, she lives without lights. She has been locked in the castle for long. Finally, after one storm night the door has suddenly opened, she could see the sunlight. She sees the hope. She thinks maybe she should be brave, to step out the door before it closing. Cause she could see this beautiful world outside has just opened the arms to welcome her. But she's hesitated, she feels confusing. She doesn't know if that's real. She doesn't know if that's just illusion. No way to prove. Cause once she leaves there's no way to back to the castle. And then she would have no where to go...

-
Tell me, if you could be my escape

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
4:50 PM

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
9:51 PM

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
8:56 PM

"He has a face of a sailor and a heart like an anchor. He spills shockwaves all over my skin and made me into a malfunction machine. A perpetual rebellion with absolutely no cause. I wish I wasn't this monster I've become. Keep tasting the saline rolling down my cheekbones, I'm feeling like a toy feels when its batteries run dry. So sick of you cutting me off like a guillotine. This pain you give doesn't feel so much like love.

Don't get any closer here now sweetheart or you'll just make my heart quiver again. But if you want, you can eat my bones and fix me with your pretty tools. Won't you?..."

-
It'll be lonely this Christmas without you to hold
I. I Love. I Love You.

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
12:55 AM

-
):
merry merry christmas, lonely lonely christmas

Yand i'll whisper to you my love
1:30 AM