♥

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

THIS IS HOW YOU'RE MOVING ON BUT WITHOUT ME

Like you just come back running.
Holding your scarred heart in hand.
It started out with a kiss how did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.
This is how it had to be.
It's enough to say I'm sorry.
-

This is how I get by

After known certain truth, today was seriously a heartbreak. To use this word to describe how I felt and it is 'sad'. Be way honest, I am really sad. I can just cry you a river any time. But this is so gonna be the very last time I cry in TP, and because of the boys, they gave me the power to sit and pretend.

Reality is indeed cruel, I've got no choice but to face it, I think sooner or later I will get to use of my korean drama type of life. It doesn't feel nice to know for what I've believed in turned out to be all lies. Seriously, I'm not a good fighter, cause I can be destroyed easily. And so don't come and take me cause I ain't for playing. And it is the fact that my heart will never heal right, cause there's always people who's pulling out the sutures.

This year's the most tough year for me, this just the beginning but yah, I never hope the rest of the year would turn out good. For everything that supposed to be happiness to me, they never have happy endings and yah, everything's gone. How nice, I really don't understand why people always like to bring me hurt and pain, it doesn't feel nice okay. Totally. Anyways, I started to hate school, everyday I have to drag myself to that place and yeh, the people are getting colder here. Be very honest, I hate to be in IT school and I really don't like to face the people there anymore. So this is the first time that I'm telling everyone this, if everything goes on smoothly, this will be the last month that I would appear in TP. Yes, and only if everything goes on smoothly, I'm finally leaving this island in about 2 months time.

Ever since I've been posted to TP, it has given me lots of unhappiness and yeah. Except for the boys and a few girlfriends, I've gain nothing else. They're the reason for me to stay, but I really can no longer take it to be in that school and face the people there. And so, I've decided to leave. And I really pray hard that I CAN leave this time. So yah, I know you guys will read this, cause it's hard for me to find a way to tell you all. Especially when Lionel told this 'you come to school for study not for anything else.' It's true, and I know you guys always want the best for me, but yah, despite that I'm taking pills to sleep everyday, if I continue like this I'm just so pretty damn close to depression. So I need a break and I have to leave though I know it doesn't help to not think of certain things, but yah. I just want to be far away cause this is the most I can take and I'd rather to keep those beautiful memories than to let the reality to destroy them all.

Alrights, on the brighter side today, it was hard but I was still putting up a smile all the way, cause I love my boy friends. Cause they're the ones who would really be there for me and who will never break the trust and who will never walk out of my life no matter what. I'm glad that they're my very best in TP. (:

They're the most handsome guys in this fucking IT school, don't you think so? You just don't know how much I heart them. :D

This is when Harold meets Kumar

We learn to play balls during CMSK!

This is Kiang when we were having lunch, but hours later....

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Yeah, he has became like this and has been sent to CGH ):

This was way serious okay. Though he still could smile before sending to the hospital

And like randomly, we met our friend there, oh he wasn't going to buy food or what, this was JR after he fell from his bike. And Ah Ma and I had a good laugh over this picture. Oooops. HA.

This is woah, good memory. (:

After JR left, Ah Ma and I stayed and Yah, Ah Ma can be a good doctor. Ha.

Well, I met Dom after school, and we had some heart to heart talks. I felt much better after talking to him. And then Keith and friends joined us after that, I mean Keith was really dumb enough cause he couldn't even find the IT school bus stop. Well, yah. I'm looking forward to our meetup.

Dom (:

This is pretty random, WY and KC. Ha. Look at their faces. Like okay. HA. (:

Going to do something's really important and yah, tomorrow we're so gonna have lots of fun! And I'm so looking forward to our clubbing day on friday. Cause this might be the first and also the last clubbing outing for us before I leave. I'm so gonna treasure the time that I'll spend with the boys and my lovergirl Amanda. Oh and I think Den's right, when there's no expectation, there'd be no disappointment. Hopefully Den will be in school tomorrow. Ha. Alrights, nights sexy.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT!
I LOVE SANJEEV KUMAR A MILLON! HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY MY ONE AND ONLY BLACKIE BFF! :D

Yeat your heart out
1:10 AM